You all may remember from an earlier story that I was confronted in the gym by one of the monitors [it seems to me] simply exerting his employment-granted authority, in the process irking me. Well, our pal (let's call him Richard Simmons) is back this week, and up to his meddlesome antics, of course. I was concluding my workout with an extended set of an exercise that just so happened to require the repeated return of the bar to a rack, the result of which being a somewhat metallic dissonance. So be it. Well, Mr. Simmons comes up to me in the midst of my exercise with a stern look on his face that he must practise in the mirror (I practice, he practises). I look at him and ask what's wrong, as he's shaking his head (which caused me to stop what I was doing). He said "we don't do that here, this isn't some sort of outer suburban gym where you can just clang clang clang. It scares the girls away." I swear on my D-Wades those words escaped his mouth like Tim Robbins from Shawshank. I really wanted to be like, "Please tell me you're joking. Look, Dick. Me working out with some sound effects doesn't scare girls away - 50 year old dudes in tiny shorts sprouting topiaries from the back of their tank tops while smelling like dingos and outback steakhouse scares girls away." Man, I'm actually mad at myself for not asking for a better explanation, and informing him that everyone's here to get in better shape, not to be concerned w/ anyone else. Damn I'm too polite. Instead I just nodded and said OK. I suck.
While we're on the topic of the gym, it must be said: I think I attend that shit at the same time as a handful of pornstars or pornstar wannabes. I wish I were making this up. That is not to say that they are necessarily attractive, but there are a few just ridiculous, caricature-esque looking people (male and female), with inane revealing/I-don't-know-what clothing. For instance, whether or not you dabble in pornography, just imagine a male porn star. Now join me at the Athletic Center in meeting "Travis". Travis is in very good shape, shows up every day in a spandex shirt with buttons, and his goatee, moustache, and soul patch. Caricature. There's also the woman I mentioned before (who happens to work out with "Travis") who mostly just works out in sports-bra-like items, today it was a wrap around/tie up bullshit that would most likely be found in a club in Little Haiti. There's women with augmentation and tube tops w/ no bras (Caricatures), and other guys spending more time talking to said fitness stars and preening in the mirror than actually working out. And in the utmost example of what I considered gayitude - one kid got to the gym, placed his bag down, and proceeded to apply Tag body spray before his workout. Christ. Although you know they all go home and tell their pornstar friends: "holy shit, I work out at the same time as one of the most stunning examples of a physical specimen I've ever seen - I want to be like him." I'm flattered. Hopefully none of them stumble upon this blog. Oh well, I guess that would be making the giant leap of faith that pornstars are actually literate. I suppose if Traci Lords can ghostwrite a biography others can ghostread the blogs of stuck up, self important tourist. Whatever.
In other news, the stuff I'm doing in lab is very new to me and I get a headache every time I sit down to consider cloning strategies (for the uninitiated, this is not the kind of cloning you're thinking of). There's less one-on-one time with my boss, especially for the type of project I've never even remotely been a part of before, so I have more responsibility to troubleshoot on my own and tap others' knowledge to piece together how I should proceed. Either way, it is exciting to have what's basically my own project (for a while) that is fairly significant, even if it requires immense focus just to follow along with my boss when he lays out what has to be done. I don't want the nobel prize though. I'd raher be magnanimous and turn down the honor so someone who has more at stake can claim the spoils. The scientific fame is not what I'm after, strictly advancement to Lance Armstrong's 100% selfless command to Live Strong.
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